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Multiversal Arena - Ep.3: Dorito Man VS. Aka Manah
'Intro' *'HeresJosh: ''Throughout the course of human history, hatred has played a vital role in our society. Pushing us to our lowest depths. Breaking every bonde we believed we had.' *WeirdWojak: That, and we're self-absorbant assholes.'' *'HeresJosh: Yeah, that too. But none display this unrelenting wrath better than Aka Manah, the sadistic anti-love himself.' *''WeirdWojak: And Dorito Man, our beloved junk foody anti-god. '' *'HeresJosh: I'm HeresJosh, and he's WeirdWojak, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, powers and abilities...' *''WeirdWojak: To see if one of your characters can face off against the OGs of Multiversal Legends.'' *'HeresJosh: And to see who would win, a Multiversal Arena.' *''WeirdWojak: Basically DeathBattle, but without yelling and al-Qaeda connections.'' *'HeresJosh: DeathBattle has al-Qaeda connections?' *''WeirdWojak: I don't know.'' 'Aka Manah' *'HeresJosh: Aka Manah, known commonly as the demon-god Akvon, was created centitudes before time itself by the God Ahriman in hopes of creating a superior life-form to control his subjects. Endgame made Manah the literal incarnation of hatred, with powers far surpassing that of his own. But in the midst of all of this, he forgot to name his creation.' *''WeirdWojak: How the hell do you make a creature stronger than you, and forget to name it?'' *'HeresJosh: Technically, Manah the Nameless Evil DOES have a name, though it's incomprehensible to both human and gods alike.' *''WeirdWojak: Must be Arabic.'' *'HeresJosh: Uh...alright then. Over time, the being began to gain sentience and realized that Ahriman have provided it with a weakness after all.' *''WeirdWojak: Manah, though his state of mind is far above any mortal, is mentally disturbed, allowing his extreme feelings of anger and hate to take over in the midst of conflict.'' *'HeresJosh: Manah came to the realization that he was merely a pawn to Ahriman and, seeking to build an identity for himself, adopted his name and broke free of his control. He searched the Old Multiverses for a family to share his immense powers of creation with, but was rejected each time.' *''WeirdWojak: Manah's final rejection drove him to insanity. Under Manah's influence, stray pets would track down their previous owners and slaughter them with incredible speed and power, only to transform into the owners and take on their lives. '' *'HeresJosh: He began to use his demonic attributes to his full potential, corrupting the mind of a human named Aki and slaughtering a village council. He later placed the fault under humanity's inability to keep itself in check, and preached this, along with other misanthropic ideals, to his followers.' *''WeirdWojak: Understandable. But, as you were saying, Manah was beginning to go bat-shit crazy before he got his hands on the Power Stone. With the Stone in his hands, he began to murder millions, slowly unlocking his own powers and growing in knowledge.'' *'HeresJosh: Of course, this didn't last long. Manah went to battle with the Ancient Primordial, sent after him by the Prime Alphas, and was severely defeated. He retreated to Oblivion where he exploited a clan of daemon seccessionists and began to build an empire under his name.' *''WeirdWojak: This empire went on to slaughter, oppress, and torment trillions, even leading to the destruction of a realm.'' Then Nekrozoth gets involved and shit just gets confusing. *'HeresJosh: Basically, yes.' Manah's name is feared and ingrained in the memory of billions of victims from across the Omniverse. He rests in the soul of all of mankind, making him basically invulnerable to destruction of the soul. A sadistic demon warlord at heart, he finds pleassure in torturing children and personally involves himself in only the largest of conflicts as to strike fear in all he is to slaughter. ' *''WeirdWojak: With millions of demons, tyrants, totalarianists, extremists, gods, mutants, mythologyical beings, and mercenaries under his authority, he is far beyond the Prime Alpha's control, even going as far as to kill half of the Alpha race. '' *'HeresJosh: The most notable of Manah's abilities include: **'Omnipresence: '''Manah, being the physical manifestation of evil, is completely omnipresent and is in every living entity in the omniverse. Despite this, some of entities with weaker wills are more likely to fall under his influence. Despite this ability, he cannot enter location protected by the Mantle of Immunity. **'Psychokinesis: Manah is able to control multiple aspects and elements using his mind. This ability comes in a variety of forms and can be used to change, shape, manipulate, control, destroy, create, move, or empower a certain object and/or element. **'Universal Awareness: '''Manah is completely aware of actions happening to him in any of the 89,979,543 multiverse and is able to see events and future events in each one. Although this ability has some limits, Manah is generally able to be completely aware in all universes. This ability is similar to Manah's omnipresence. **'Hypnotism: 'Manah is able to put people in a state of consciousness involving reduced peripheral awareness, focused attention, and an enhanced capacity to respond to suggestions. In this state, on or more people can be manipulated or persuaded by Manah more easily and tend to respond to his commands without giving their actions a second thought. **'Dark Magic/Sorcery: 'Manah is able to cast out incredible spells and curses using dark magic and dark energy control. While using this ability, Manah can call for powers from other evil supernatural entities and deities and manipulate them to use for personal gain. Using these abilities, Manah can also set curses upon objects and people, including himself when it benefits him. **'Shapeshifting: 'Manah is able to change his physical and spiritual form at will into anything he desires. This also includes changing his size and voice, which can be further used to manipulate anyone. This ability does have limitations, however. Manah is not capable of transforming into divine beings and cannot completely split his body into two pieces while shapeshifting. **'Immortality: 'Manah is a demon, meaning he can live forever and will never die of natural causes. He also cannot be erased by other demons with the power of destruction, as he was created and curse by Ahriman. In a sense, he also cannot die unless being erased by an incredibly powerful god, such as Ahriman. **'Manipulation: 'Another mental skill of Manah's is his ability to manipulate people and bend them to his will. He is able to make almost any being fall for his cause and execute his orders without second thought. He can also influence multiversal scale wars and terroristic tragedies across all dimensions, using broken people and corrupt tyrants as "puppets". **'Military Strategism: 'As a powerful warlord, Manah is an extremely skilled military strategist and was capable of wiping out The Fifth Realm in a period of sixteen days. He also rallied an army of Chitauri, Skrulls, and Las Plagas, using them and their respective leaders a puppets to conquer more planets and spread his omniversal influence. *'HeresJosh: Aka Manah's manipulative abilities, superior intellect, and control over both soul and body. With his own hands he was capable of going to battle against (and ultimately killing, in the Bad Ending Timeline) Nekrozoth. He has detonated the Elder Sun, waged war against sentient life, corrupted humanity itself, and (at his full power) is capable of instantly destroying a universe. *''WeirdWojak: It seems as if nothing can stand to Manah the Corrupter. Except...'' Dorito Man Wojak: Dorito Man, whose real name is... '' '''Josh: N̻̰̤̮̅͂̈̂̆̑̾'̪̪̦͕̳̩̈̓ͅ ̬͕̹̟E̞͕̙̖̭̹̤͌͐̅̈͑̃e͈̙̙̳͗̾̃̾̒̂͗ĉ͓͑̈́̉͆̓h̖̥͇̮ͩ̊͒u͙͓ͮͧ̆́͗h̺͇̣̬̍̔̇̂̎̿ ͙̼̜̺͈̹̃C͔̟̭̒̋͊ͭ̓̆̊h̤͚͉͕͕̓̈́͐'͎̖̗̜̼ͅ ͚͍͛̂Ḛ̠̙͕͇̘ͧ̈́̌ͮ̈i͚̜͕̳̹̎̔͗͛̿̌z̘̦̭̱͆̒̓î̺̝̱̣̝͊ͨ̍͌͒ͅ ̙̜̲͑̄L̙̻̩̤͆ͩ͒ͭͦ̾ē͕̭̬͕̜ͯw̫̯̳͔ͥ̈́͌h̖̰̫̪̯̘͓̏'̣̫̞̙̔ͅ ͇̘͉̉̽̓̿̄̊ͣV͙̣̓̂e͎͉̫͓̞͛ͦ̓ͤ̚à̰͍͍̜̫͗ͮ̓ͥ̉h̹͊͊̃̚r̘̂̆̊ͧ' Wojak: What? Josh: He's name is N̻̰̤̮̅͂̈̂̆̑̾'̪̪̦͕̳̩̈̓ͅ ̬͕̹̟E̞͕̙̖̭̹̤͌͐̅̈͑̃e͈̙̙̳͗̾̃̾̒̂͗ĉ͓͑̈́̉͆̓h̖̥͇̮ͩ̊͒u͙͓ͮͧ̆́͗h̺͇̣̬̍̔̇̂̎̿ ͙̼̜̺͈̹̃C͔̟̭̒̋͊ͭ̓̆̊h̤͚͉͕͕̓̈́͐'͎̖̗̜̼ͅ ͚͍͛̂Ḛ̠̙͕͇̘ͧ̈́̌ͮ̈i͚̜͕̳̹̎̔͗͛̿̌z̘̦̭̱͆̒̓î̺̝̱̣̝͊ͨ̍͌͒ͅ ̙̜̲͑̄L̙̻̩̤͆ͩ͒ͭͦ̾ē͕̭̬͕̜ͯw̫̯̳͔ͥ̈́͌h̖̰̫̪̯̘͓̏'̣̫̞̙̔ͅ ͇̘͉̉̽̓̿̄̊ͣV͙̣̓̂e͎͉̫͓̞͛ͦ̓ͤ̚à̰͍͍̜̫͗ͮ̓ͥ̉h̹͊͊̃̚r̘̂̆̊ͧ Wojak: Oh, right. In short, Dorito Man is a inhabitant of the AaAaAaAa Dimension, an alternate dimension where the laws of physics have no meaning. Josh: For some reason, Dorito Man has an unhealthy obsession with cheese, which made him want to transform the WHOLE OMNIVERSE into it. Wojak: Since then, it invades multiverses and slowly turns '''EVERYTHING' into cheese.'' Josh: Nevertheless, he does show some traces of mercy, such as when he created the moon to protect the humankind from the sun. Wojak: Or when he spared an entire planet in exchange for The Cosmic Cardboard Box. Josh: Cosmic Cardboard Box? Wojak: It is a cosmic vehicle that surpasses the speed of light, withstood starbursts and even passed through BLACK HOLES. Josh: How about we talk about his powers? WeirdWojak: Okay... Cheese Transformation': Dorito Man uses this power very often, it basically casts a beam of energy that turns '''ALL' kind of matter and energy into cheese. Although very powerful beings are not greatly affected, such as Generic Dark Lord.'' ''Unpredictability: The only thing Dorito Man thinks is cheese, so, all his attacks and moves are unpredictable and have no strategy at all.'' ''Alien Mind: As an being from the AaAaAaAa dimension, Dorito Man's mind cannot be understood by anyone but himself. Because of this, every kind of mental attack is useless against it.'' Conceptual Transcendence '(Only true form): Dorito Man is out of ALL existing concepts, including death and life. So he only uses avatars to do his tasks.'' ''Regeneration': Dorito Man can regenerate lost limbs if he consumes cheese, the speed of regeneration depends on the type of cheese. Nacho cheese is the best in this case. ''Omni Cheese Manipulation:' '''Dorito Man can create and control all types of cheese imaginable and use them as weapons and shields. ''Omnivesal Teleportation: Dorito Man can travel throughout the Omniverse using teleportation. How do you think it appears out of nowhere?'' Josh: Omni Cheese Manipulation? Whatever, let's start the battle? Wojak: '''''Okay... The combatants are ready, let the MULTIVERSAL BATTLE begin. MULTIVERSAL BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Dorito Man was plunged into his pool of nacho cheese while sipping a margarine drink, staring out at the gorgonzola sun, somehow oblivious to the demon legions and chaos in the surrounding city. Aka Manah appears from a tear in reality. Aka Manah: '''Greetings, citizens of the planet Zokraroth, I am... Where are the people here? '''Dorito Man: I turned everyone into cheese, noob. Aka Manah: And what hell are you supposed to be? Dorito Man: '''I'm the guy who'll break your goat face if you don't get out of here. Manah's eyes burn red as he surrounds himself with crystals formed from dark matter. '''Aka Manah: '''Are you threatening the embodiment of evil? '''Dorito Man: I don't care about who you are, goat face, as long you stop covering my sun. Aka Manah: '''I will '''TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB! '''You will regret coming into this world... '''Dorito Man: Technically, I wasn't born, but if you want to be destroyed, that's fine. FIGHT! Several dark shards surrounding Aka soar towards Dorito Man, though he uses a bubble of white cheddar to protect himself. Dorito Man: '''You almost hit me, lyme disease. Dorito Man puts down the 2016 Playgirl Magazine he was enjoying and fires a wave of cheddar at Manah. The emblem on Aka's forehead radiates, deflecting the stream into a nearby building. '''Aka Manah: '''Don't get your panties in a bunch, Bill Cipher. A rational man would rejoice in my name. '''Dorito Man: '''I'm a fucking Dorito. Do I look rational to you? '''Aka Manah: '''Not at all... Manah transforms into a gigantic, demonic form and towers over our beloved Dorito Man as the world around them begins to hellishly distort. '''Aka Manah: BUT YOU LOOK DELICIOUS. Aka fires a devastating beam of hell-fire at Dorito Man's countryside pool. Aka Manah: '''That was easier then expected. Aka then sees Dorito Man sitting on his shoulder with a mini-cooler filled with root-bear and mango-orange juul pods. '''Aka: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Dorito Man creates a Hydrogen Bomb from velveta cheese and detonates it on Manah's shoulder, blowing it off as his healing factor revives his arm. Dorito Man is back by his destroyed poolside, now only a puddle of cheese. Dorito Man: '''Did you really think you could kill me with a shoe, Mr. Goat? '''Manah (Thought): Why can't I read this idiot's mind or see his future? Dorito Man launches the cheesier beam once again, but Manah defends himself by throwing a mountain into the beam. Dorito Boi: '''FLUTE FIGHT! Dorito Man creates a boxing ring made of cheese, he takes a flute out of his pocket and starts playing this song: '''Aka: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?! MY EAAAAAAARS!!! Aka gets tired of this slapstick and lures Zokraroth's moon to collide with the planet BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! The collision made the planet explode. Aka's avatar is seen sitting in his throne, watching as the remaining pieces of Zokraroth disintegrate in the planet's atmosphere. Aka Manah: '''What a beautiful sight. Still...such a pathetic waste of my time. '''Dorito Man: '''Am I a joke to you? Dorito Man runs collides into Manah's flagship with The Cosmic Cardboard Box at an irrelevant immeasurable absurd speed and destroys it, leaving Manah in gravitating in space with only half of his body. '''Aka: '''My healing factor saves me from any damage! You... Before Aka finished the quote, Dorito Man hit him with the Cheeser Beam. And then Dorito hit him with the Cheeser Beam again, and again, and again... ...Until Manah turns into a carcass made of sakura cheese. '''Dorito Man: '''Now, where was I... Dorito Man feels strange as he turns pale and passes out, only to regain consciousness in an empty black vacuum. '''Dorito Man: '''Where am I? '''Aka Manah: '''Inside of you. Manah appears behind him, forming an immense sphere of anti-matter energy above him. '''Aka Manah: '''I can never be killed. I live in the soul of all that lives. I am the voice in the back of every being's head. '''Dorito Man: '''Bu-... '''Aka Manah: '''I will tear you from within as my legions torment and slaughter any Pringles or Ruffles that you call your family. I am wrath itself. '''I AM UNKILLABLE!! Dorito Man: 'Very clever, goat. But there's something you forgot... Aka begins to fade from existence. '''Aka Manah: '''What the hell... '''Dorito Man: '''I have no soul. His energy sphere begins to dwarf as Aka Manah desperately attempts to escape Dorito Man's conscience. '''Aka Manah: '''You...'I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!! Dorito Man fires a final beam of cheddar, finally destroying Manah. K.O Dorito Man: Poor Mr. Goat Face.Category:Episodes Category:Multiversal Arena Category:HeresJosh Category:WeirdWojak Category:Non-Canon